Friday, July 3, 2009

Wife swapping in India: A Growing bad Business

Today, I noticed in Google trends that many people are searching about wife swapping in India. Then I did some search in Internet and found that this topic got some attention in the mainstream media in recent days. It came to me as a great shock as this is something that really should not go with South Asian culture. What is more worrying is perhaps the fact that it is no longer restricted to some large cities. It is now becoming popular in smaller cities and it is slowly but steadily spreading to middle class and lower middle class people. I think that it is a bad business.

Economic growth in India in the last two decades has created a flourishing middle class who have enough disposable income. Many of them have become strong admirer of anything American. American TV channels and TV serials are very popular among the educated class. Many of them are in the outsourcing sector and it seems that the idea of wife swapping has been outsourced to India from US culture. Its supporters mainly say that Indian is a democratic and open country. So, people have right to do anything with their life. They also say that if a husband and wife are willing to swap then it is their personal matter. Another argument for this is that wife swapping will decrease the possibility of extra marital affairs and thus in fact, would help the couple life to remain healthy and happy.

Yes, India is a democratic country where women still face a lot of discrimination. Dowry is a curse for most girls in the time of marriage. Many parents become very unhappy when a daughter is born. Many marriages break up only because the wife cannot give birth to a male baby. In fact, thousands of couples kill the female fetus after they realize that their upcoming baby would be a girl not a boy. If really, Indian people want to follow the US culture then the first thing they should do is to ensure more respect for female babies in the society.

About the second argument that it is a personal matter of a couple, I would like to say that in most of reports I read today, it seemed to me that in many cases the wife is not willing to engage in this kind of thing. However, she has to give in because of the pressure from the husband. In fact, Indian society is still totally a male dominated society. So, the wife has hardly anything to say. Divorce is considered to be a bad thing for women. In some cases, the wife suffers after the swapping happens.

Telegraph India reported:

Mathai cites the case of one of her female patients who had a fling with her husband’s boss, while the patient’s husband had an affair with his boss’s wife. Both the patient and her husband knew what they were doing. “But the wife was thrown out of the house by the husband’s family,” she says. “The men can have their way but the women can’t.”

Yes, this is a very common idea in Indian society: a man can do almost anything but a woman cannot. Thus, wife swapping is just another way of fun for many men with very serious and disastrous consequences for their wives. In fact, in some cases, the goal of wife swapping is purely for financial benefits. For example, the boss and his wife are in their 50s and they want to enjoy a young couple in their mid twenties of early thirties.

I really do not agree with the third argument that wife swapping helps to prevent extra-marital affairs. In fact, most couples in India are dedicated for their couple life and their children. This message is all the time reinforced in the media and even in Bollywood movies the main theme is love and marriage. In fact, what I feel is that wife swapping is a dangerous thing for Indian couple. First of all, it sometimes creates unnecessary complications when one of the partners get emotionally involved (falls in love) with the other husband or wife. It often may lead to divorce easily. The biggest danger is that in India, most people are not that much conscious of sexually transmitted diseases like HIV/AIDS. So, wife swapping in India would just increase the spread of AIDS very easily in different cities. May be now, most people do not understand this simple danger but unless Indian government does something against it, AIDS will spread very fast. You do not need to be a doctor to understand about this simple risk.

That is why; I think that it is a very bad growing business in India. It will not only create tension and disharmony in Indian society. I am not saying that unnatural or exceptional sexual practices never happened in Indian society. Unnatural practices are common in every society in the world. We all know that. However, because they are limited to a small tiny minority of the population, they are called unnatural or abnormal. What is a matter of grave concern for India is that it is becoming a cool fashion. Many websites are catering to the growing business. Thus, it is in the end, wife swapping in India is a bad business and some adult websites are enjoying the benefit more than the couples.

20 comments:

  1. It is true that in india people generally do not accept swapping of their life partners but the fact remains that many of the people are enjoying and getting a lot of pleasure by loosing nothing . In big cities in hi-fi societies this has become quite common and it is growing day by day. It is coming to middle class and upper class of people also . I feel there is nothing wrong unless and until it is done forcefully. Swapping among the willing couples causes no worry at all

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  2. Mr Razib Ahmed,
    Do you have knowledge of ancient indian culter?
    Such activites(wife swap.. etc) are rooted from
    indian centuries back Ok .. not from western country. Plus you are making your living
    by writing such articles. Rest every one knows what is what. Spend some time in good cause rather than discussing people's private business.

    Kishore

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  3. in india wife swapping is not incresse as it menton in i=this articlebecause in our histry we know our culture .

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  4. i guess wife swapping is increasing in India, first of all the way the idea had been introduced to them as"cool" or "in" by the media, such as the television, movies and especially the internet made it easier for them to accept. Their minds were slowly set in manner of thinking that its a way of making your relationship stronger or it prevents divorce amongst those who are in a rocky stage. That by doing wife swapping you allow your partner to explore and satisfy his/her sexual needs, making them look like, they are sensitive to each others needs. But the truth is, its a lame excuse of getting laid and tasting "other food". Also, let's not forget that most marriages are still arranged, by parents and mostly, couples who get married are not emotionally attached to each other. Making it easier for both partners to agree in such ridiculous idea. I mean common! But who would suffer most in the long run..noone else but their children! Just think what your children would say once they find out that their dad who they consider as their hero and their mother who is a devoted housewife is having different sex partners! worst part is with his father's consent and vice versa! it's just plain disgusting..And no matter how parents try to hide it from their children, you know how the saying goes "no secret is left unraveled"

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  5. Hi .. I am a 23 year old male .. unmarried.
    I believe that wife swapping is a healthy trend in India,though resented by many.
    If the husband and wife both are ready for it then what's the harm? In fact,this bonds the couple together as both get the taste of "other foods". In fact,I would love to see my wife moaning with pleasure when "he" is screwing her ! I would definitely go for swinging lifestyle ..... but it should be with a single trusted couple .. that's it !

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  6. ys its a good concept to be accepted by the couples wjo are mentaly ready for it . this is not for the pls who do nt belive on each other aprtner. there is no problme by doing this . it always give u the chance to meet new good friends who like to share their personal viws with u so, its ok.

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  7. ya it may be a very exciting experience to swap but enjoyment of a couple of hours will result in disturbance of their married life at least if not 100% than there are fairly good chances of ruining the relationship because at certain time it will definitely come in to the minds of both (husband & wife) that he/she is more enjoying or more interested in other person and more over as per our brought up in indian culture swapping will definitely result in decrease of respect towards each other as there is always a thing which is being shared between husband & wife only but it wont be any more if u swap.

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  8. I am 55 years old male with 30 years married life and sexually very active and I feel both myself and my wife are fed up with the same routines and after undergoing sterilisation feel there is no harm in swapping provided it is done secretly that is without the knowledge of the persons you know.Just like eating the same food over & over again resulting in distaste, it is better if couple indulges in swapping with healthy couples.Actutally the idea of swapping was not liked earlier by some because of the legal complications like child birth wherein the parentage and property problems, but after sterilization techniques etc. this problem is solved. However, the problem of emotional attachment between consensual sexual partners do remain. Hence without the headache of emotional involvement, if swapping is done to have additional taste in sex, it is fine.

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  9. many attractive and sexy women are deprived of sex as their husbands do not find interest in having sex with same person or to say that they had enough of it with their sexy wives. This poor sexy wife unnecessarily suffers from lack of sex resulting in depression and causing an illness. I think wife swapping is a cheap cure for it. Go for it and enjoy. Even less attractive woman becomes desirable for others even though one may have sexy wife and what is wrong in making less desirable wife feel happy and sexually fulfilled by this wife swapping.

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  10. we are 33M and 28F, enjoyed regular sex to peak and tried wife swapping with nice couple ... and it has been a practice for us to exchange paterners on any vacation / festival... etc. this helped our relationship stronger and open minded without any secrets which eases our mind peacefully. No negativity in it. even we are open for group as well... just looking for right combinations. this is indian culture just look at khajuraho / or read books like ashtapadulu for unlimited LOVE hidden in ancient india.

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  11. ok guys... lot of crap.. i have just one thing to say.. if you have to be indulging in wife swapping, you were never meant to be married. You already have an unsuccesfull mariage and to fill that void ppl go for wife swapping. make marriage and divorce easier legal procedures. If ppl really like swinging y get married?? be good enough to have options.. its a funny world.. have to say.. and funny bunch of loosers are always around to coat their greed and desire with empty baseless justifications.. ok anyway... good luck to all guys who have no direction in life.. keep swinging..

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  12. If it is consensual for both the husband and the wife, I don't think there would be a problem as long as they trust each other a lot. I personally know an Indian married couple who indulged in this act many many years ago and continued with the same couple for some time. They have now found another younger couple and they are truly very happy with their lives so far. In fact, their marriage is even stronger. I guess it depends on how you look at things.

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  13. It looks nice n enjoyale in fantasy but in reality it may be involve many complications

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  14. Wife swapping can be nice, but then, Indian languages have a feudal structure, with the wife having a specific position in it. For exampe, in south INdia, she is a Nee to her husband. Many other connected words also are in the same position. If wife swapping is done, these words can come in the possessio of the other male, and then life can be really intolerable. Understand this, before running off to enjoy the thrill. In English, this proble is not there.

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  15. N Devendar Reddy HyderabadJune 28, 2010 at 12:18 PM

    wife swapping is a welcome and healthy practice as long as it is voluntary by both the partners and between the willing and healthy and honest partners. It is strictly personal and private.

    A word of caution is partners should not get in to love with others spouses and divorce their own partners.

    Another most important thing is it should be purely for pleasure there should not be any
    commercial or selfish angle. otherwise it will lead to many complications. PLEASE- SPECIALLY HUSBANDS= DO NOT LINK PROMOTION OR FINANCIAL GAIN WITH WIFE SWAPPING.

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  16. Hi All, I am 26 yr male & single. Wife Swapping should not be promoted especially in India. Looking to the above conversations some couples have wrote that they agree in switching off their wife or husband. If he/she is very much interested to swap I need to put a question on them that why only couples they can share their wives or husbands. Why not to bachelors, father in law, brother in law, to every body & relatives yaar. Here also you people can enjoy your sex life. In the above also some body has written what about their childern when will they their father is having with other & mom is having with other. Yes it's correct I do agree with him. Well said my friend. Here in the above one guy of 55 yrs old is fed up of doing the same wife. He wants something extra. Oye !!! Hello Boss... In my opinion you should go for a holiday take your wife in romantic places. Have different types of sex practices which u & ur wife have never done while making love. U will feel better than never before. Kamaal Karte Ho Yaar!!!!!. Yes in the above also somebody has written about some ancient books i.e he/she said "just look at khajuraho / or read books like ashtapadulu for unlimited LOVE hidden in ancient india." Hello Boss !!! If your mother or sister wants some thing extra then u go & have with them. As u said about the ancient books. I m sure that u will never do that. Now you got it. This Wife Swap will destroy u like any thing. Ur wife will not give respect to u nor u will give to her. Let's say u did this several times with different couple wat will happen when ur wife get's pregenant or affected by HIV Aids. Tab bahut hi maaza aaye ga. So dear friends don't promot these type of activities. Maana hai to maano ya phir bhaad mein jaao!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  17. Well its once personal decision. Why you are so pissed off?
    just check the website desihunt.com
    lots of people are having good time..
    so dont be jelaous

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  18. i think this is not,,,,,,,goog guys. if the both of patner is agree then ok , but if u r patner say no , then not force her / he.

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  19. it verry good guys we meet with new mats and enjoy the difrent test , cause every day same test......we satap......so wife swaaping is good.

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